Deeper Graves

To My Wife...10 years later

2012-02-14T16:45:00.000-06:00

If I speak in the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal. If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but have not love, I am nothing. If I give all I possess to the poor and surrender my body to the flames, but have not love, I gain nothing. Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails. But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away. For we know in part and we prophesy in part, but when perfection comes, the imperfect disappears. When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put childish ways behind me. Now we see but a poor reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known. And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love. (1 Corinthians 13:1-13)

As I read one of the most famous chapters on love in the bible, I am reminded how often I truly fail at love. How often have I become angry at the ones I love? How often have I kept a record of wrongs against those who have failed me? How often have I been rude? How often am I proud?... Don't answer that!

I am so thankful for a God who provides me an example of true love!

Almost ten(10) years ago, one of the best decisions in my life took place. I married you on March 9, 2002. You are my best friend! I love you!

Love rejoices in the truth...

Truth is I have not always been the greatest husband. I have failed you, Becca, many times. But the truth is over the past ten (10) years we have become honest with ourselves about who each other is as a person and as a spouse. We rejoice in the truth about each other. We are both not perfect! We do not want to be perfect! I love that about us!!!

Love protects...

Becca Andrews Graves is worth fighting for. I will always fight for you! I am your protector.

Love trusts...

Becca you are THE most trusting, God fearing and honest woman I know.

Love hopes...

If the next 10 years are any resemblance of our first 10 years of marriage, there is nothing but hope. I am still glad we can enjoy simple things like setting suns and chasing moons, when we laugh and when we cry. What an amazing mother and friend that I get to call my wife! I pray that as a family, we can have an impact on many lives throughout our time on earth.

Love perseveres...

When I proposed to you over 11 years ago, I told you the following:

I love you will you please be mine.
I'll hold you close when you might cry
Our love is patient, our love is kind.
Your beauty lies within my eyes forever.
I praise the Lord everytime I think of you.
Pure and precious you waited for me.
You fear the Lord, that's to be praised.
Will you please be my wife, forever.

This is more true now!

Love never fails...
My love for you is abundant!!!

Your husband,
deepergraves

Drops of Silence

2012-01-19T15:32:00.000-06:00

As I am writing this, I am literally in tears. These are not tears of pain, suffering or loss. These are not even tears of joy.

"They Are Just Thorns"

This morning was an energy drain. It was a morning that was planned and well prepared for. My "C" personality could not have contributed any more to the task at hand. It was time just to be honest and authentic. I poured out, friends listened, God smiled.

On the way back to the office, I began speaking to God. (BTW - I do this a lot when I drive.) For the most part, these conversations usually consist of me sharing my frustrations with life and sometimes even with God. Today, wasn't any different.

Here is how these conversations with God in my truck play out.

I raise my voice to share my points to God.
I calm down and sit in silence, so He can respond. But ultimately the silence gets to me, so I turn on the radio for some "relief."
I then, out of pure disdain for Kevin Fowler's wobbly vibrato, turn off the radio again.
Once again I start to spew my thoughts to God.

The above scenario played out for miles as I drove back to the office. Once I turned into the church parking lot, God shouted... Can you shut your trap for a moment!!!!

"I Will Walk The Path With You"

NewChurch sits on 20 acres and I never really go enjoy all that the piece of property has to offer. So I drove my truck to the back acreage of the property. Turned off the ignition, pulled out my lunch, turned off some horrible Texas Country Music and said, Ok, God, my mouth is shut!!!!

God, in as few words as possible said this... Do you see and hear the beauty that is all around you that I created? Why do you want control? Have I gotten you this far? Do you trust Me? Chris, you know who you are and I am here with you.

I then sat in silence for 45 minutes. Just God and myself. Silence brought me to tears.

deeper graves

Humorous Truth

2011-02-28T11:22:00.002-06:00

The past eleven years have been a process of continual transformation of thoughts, theology, personality and character.  During that time, some of my most challenging and transformational moments occurred during times of inward and outward expression of humor by myself and from others I share life with.  

Last years Band of Brothers trip to Big Bend and Carlsbad, NM with 8 other guys was a humorous adventure.  When you combine nine admittedly screwed up, authentic and expressive men with over 1,500 miles of adventure into 7 days there is bound to be humor.  In that humor, I can honestly say we were all transformed.  I also work with one of my best friends, Lee Hoy.  We share laughs on a daily basis.  We laugh at ourselves, each other, and life.  In that humor, we transform, challenge and grow each other daily.  

This got me to look at the Bible and Jesus and explore the humor that it contains.  I found a book called Religion Saves and Nine Other Misconceptions by Mark Driscoll, which answers the top nine questions that his congregation would like answered.  One of these questions dealt with the humor in the bible.  Is it biblical to use humor as a pastor and as a follower to share the truth?

The Bible is predominately a serious rather than a funny book. Yet it would distort the Bible to suppress the humor that is present.  Elton Trueblood also wrote a book in 1964 called The Humor of Christ.  Trueblood says in this book, "There are numerous passages...which are practically incomprehensible when regarded as sober prose, but which are luminous once we become liberated from the gratuitous assumption that Christ never joked... Once we realize that Christ was not always engaged in pious talk, we have made an enormous step on the road to understanding."   

Trueblood also says, Christ laughed, and... He expected others to laugh... A misguided piety has made us fear that acceptance of His obvious wit and humor would somehow be mildy blasphemous or sacrilegious.  Religion, we think, is serious business, and serious business is incompatible with banter."  

Other scholars say, If there is a single person within the pages of the Bible that we can consider to be a humorist, it is without a doubt Jesus... Jesus was a master of wordplay, irony, and satire, often with an element of humor intermixed."

Jesus was often invited to parties because people liked him, crowds thronged around Him, and His fiercest critics falsely accused Him of being nothing but a party animal and going against the laws. To me, this suggests Jesus was fun to hang around with. 

For years I have been a person who has bottled up my emotions.  I have been know to be a firecracker when those emotions reach a boiling point.  This is a part of my being that I have thoroughly concentrated over the past few years.  What I have discovered with humor is that it heightens all other emotions.  If I now feel freed up to laugh deeply, I am also passionate enough to weep deeply.  Bottling up emotions to "be strong" display little if any of the characteristics of their passionate God, who both laughs and weeps.   Laughter enables us to rise above the pain.

Humor is also a missiological ministry tool necessary in our culture.  In Corinthians 9:22-23 Paul writes, "To the weak I became weak, that I might win the weak.  I have become all things to all people, that by all means I might save some. I do it all for the sake of the gospel, that I may share with them in its blessings." We all love to laugh, listen to the most current comedians, watch the latest hilarious youtube videos, love practical jokes and enjoy the after dinner sitcoms.  As Mark Driscoll says, "To reach people, we need to speak their language, and their language obviously includes comedy."

To those critics of humor in sharing the truth, I leave you with this quote from Charles Spurgeon: "Many hearers lose much blessing through criticizing too much, and mediating too little; and many more incur great sin by calumniating those who live for the good of others.  Pastors (ministers) have enough of care and travail without being burdened by undeserved and useless faultfinding.  We have something better to do than to be forever answering every malignant or frivolous slander which is set afloat to injure us... There are tender, loving spirits who feel the trial very keenly, and are sadly hindered in brave service by cruel assaults.  The rougher and stronger among us laugh at those who ridicule us, but upon other the effect is very sorrowful..."

deeper graves

This is Why I am Here

2011-02-09T21:14:00.000-06:00

This past year I spent over 6 months in a Trimergent Leadership Training course developed by Clint Anderson. This course was entitled Leading Self. Leading Self was truly a life changing experience and I was transformed. I would highly recommend it to everyone.

Most people I encounter do not know their purpose in life and they go through their days treading water, just to get by. This is not how I will live the rest of my life. I have a purpose and have discovered the difference in "being" vs. "doing".

I had lunch with Clint Anderson and Lee Hoy today and I was reminded once again about my inabilities to sometimes openly share about myself. That C personality dang it!!!

Below is what I discovered about myself during the course. This is who I am created to be.

Mission

I exist to be challenged physically and mentally, which ignites creativity and the arts inside me, so that others can experience God in a unique way.

Vision

I will cherish being surrounded by authentic and healthy relationships, sharing our gifts and abilities in a creative ways while bonded together by a unified purpose to Glorify God.

Core Values

Honor God | Fear God | Healthy Relationship | Love Others | Integrity

Personality

I am a very high Conscientious person with Dominance the next closest personality trait. Steadiness is not too far behind Dominance.

Personal Distinctiveness

Discerning, Reflective, Challenger for discovering the authentic.

Passions

Challenges | Fun | Music | Improvement

Strengths

Weaknesses

Priorities

Honor God | Family | The Arts

deeper graves

State Fair of Texas

2010-09-29T21:04:00.005-05:00

Lee and I decided to take our photography to the State Fair of Texas. These shots were taken on 9.24.10, the opening day of the fair. This was my first visit the State Fair since I was a Freshman in High School. I had an amazing time and I got some fun shots. I hope you enjoy.

As A Video:

Still Shots:
State Fair of Texas Photos

Motorcycle Ride and Chalk Ridge Falls Park

2010-08-31T15:04:00.004-05:00

Last Friday morning I decided to combine to of my most prized times of re-energizing and headed out on my bike with my tripod and Canon EOS camera to be alone in silence. I headed out towards Florence on Highway 195. A few miles west of Florence, I turned north on County Road 228. This road T's into FM 2484 that parallels the south shore of Stillhouse Hollow Lake. This drive was incredible. It had amazing views for the eyes and many curves for the bike. I then turned north onto FM 1670 heading towards Stillhouse Hollow Dam and Chalk Ridge Falls Park.

Chalk Ridge Falls Park contains about 5 miles of nature trails, several creeks, ponds, waterfalls, and wildlife. Needless to say, this was exactly what my camera needed. I only had about two hours of exploring at the park and I quickly realized I had to make a return trip to fully experience the park. This was due to the amount of things to see and because I brought my tripod but I had left my adapter for the camera at the house. The return trip is already in the works. In the meantime, below are some of my favorite pics from the day. You can also view the entire album here. These are all handheld photos so they still are not quite as clear as I would have liked with a tripod, but I think they are pretty good for a beginner.

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deeper graves

Leading Self

2010-08-13T13:56:00.010-05:00

Yesterday I had the opportunity to embark on a ten day journey to discover my meaning in life, my purpose, my mission and my vision. What does it truly mean when you are leading self? I can honestly say I have no idea at the moment what that looks like for me. However, yesterday I started to reflect and deconstruct my life to discover my meaning.

What Clint Anderson, Director of the WBA (Williamson Baptist Association) and founder of jclintanderson.com has challenged me with already is as follows:

What would Investing vs. Doing look like in my life? Being vs. Doing?

None of us have a perfect grasp on reality!

Think about that statement. We spend most of our lives positive

we know the reality of our environment, family, friends, church

and faith, when most if not all of us cannot grasp the reality of

even our inner being. Who we are at the core? Our Meaning?

Will I ever come to a place where I am okay with me?

"God wastes nothing"

Even in our times of complete folly, happiness, pain, suffering,

joy, passion, peace and cloudiness; God will waste no opportunity

to use me.

"We do not manage time, we manage life"

How many times have we heard the phrase, "I (You) need to work

on time management," in the work place, from colleagues or peers.

I now think that phrase is about as useful as the mole on my left

temple. All show and no value. :)

I look forward to nine more days of discovering my meaning and

learning to lead myself.

Humbled,

deeper graves

9 Guys and a Roadtrip

2010-05-26T15:57:00.011-05:00

Wow it has been about two years since I last posted on this blog. My wife, Becca, started her business's blog and I thought what the heck, I should dive back into my own blog world.

Over the past two (2) years, my life has truly changed dramatically. I will post a future blog about everything that has gone on over these past few years. However, one of my new interests has become macro nature photography. I will use this blog to post some of my pictures and experiences in this new huge world of macro photography. I am learning immensely and have found this a huge joy!

In four (4) days, I will set out along with eight (8) other men on a road trip to West Texas and Carlsbad, NM. This road trip will consist of herping (snake and reptile looking), over 20 miles of hiking in Big Bend National Park and Guadalupe Mountains, The Hall of the White Giant spelunking cave tour at Carlsbad Caverns and most importantly insanely good food. I will post some of my pictures from this 7 day journey to my blog over the next few days as well as my facebook page. I would truly enjoy your thoughts, comments and feedback. If nothing else, you will get to see first hand the emotional, physical and visual results from nine guys in two vehicles, three rooms and two beds over seven exhausting days. This will be fun!!!

Here are some pictures from last years journey: Big Bend and Carlsbad 2009

- Deeper Graves

Shy Tree Concert

2008-07-31T22:45:00.002-05:00

In Concert Saturday August 16, 2008 at "The Living Room" at NewChurch Georgetown. 375 CR 245 Georgetown, TX. 78633. Show starts at 7:30PM with doors opening at 7PM. Tickets are $5 at the door.

Is that a Lime Tree?

2008-04-11T16:10:00.005-05:00

These fruits have been growing on my one year old tree located in my backyard. Although, this is not a fruit tree. This is a red oak. Why do I have what some have called limes or green apples growing on my tree. It seems healthy. I have two other red oaks planted at the same time, and they are not producing fruit. I had to research and find out what was going on. What I found out is that these are called galls.

Oak apple galls are sometimes mistaken for an actual crop of the tree, such as apples on on apple tree, but are actually deformed leaves. The gall is about 1 1/4- 2 inches or larger in diameter, globular, and smooth. The outside is green and darkens with age. The inside has a juicy, white, spongy substance with a small, hard center where the parasite is located. When the parasite leaves the gall, the gall dries and the insides become a mass of fibers.

The oak apple gall wasp is identified by its gall. A gall is an abnormal growth on a plant. The life of a gall wasp is very interesting. They do not hatch from the gall until they are a full grown adult. They quickly find another adult of the opposite sex and mate. After mating they both fall to the ground. The female burrows itself down into the ground next to the oak tree from which the gall grew. It finds the root of the tree underground and injects its eggs into the roots. The larvae hatch and feed on the roots for a year and then become pupae. The wingless females hatch underground, burrow out, and inject an egg into a leave's center vein. The larvae that hatch are round. They cause a chemical reaction that makes a gall form around the larvae. Inside the larvae eats and grows until it is an adult and then it will hatch out and the life cycle of the oak apple gall wasp will start again. These gall wasps cannot sting, so they don't bother us people and since they don't really bother trees either, galls are just something interesting to learn about.

I have no need to worry about these galls. I will enjoy my fruits and another interesting thing about nature.

Yahweh - A Creative Worship Element

2008-04-03T13:25:00.004-05:00

Enjoy! NewChurch Georgetown Band performed this song to open up Quest (what we call our worship service) on Easter 2008. We wanted to express the Change from Old to New through our Savior Yahweh. This song kicked off our new sermon series Change Happens.

I would love some feedback, comments, or other ideas for creative worship elements.

deeper graves

A Change is Gonna Come

2008-04-03T09:44:00.006-05:00

Incredible! That is how to describe our current sermon series on Change going on at NewChurch Georgetown. When you hear the word change coming from the current state of the church, you almost immediately visualize a well dressed man, shouting at the top of his lungs..."REPENT, AND CHANGE YOUR WAYS." Unfortunately, this is exactly one of the reasons so many unchurched are staying so far away from the church. To Change... in one sentence for me, is a journey, a ride, we should all be on in life. We should always be changing. If we are changing, we are growing. Where there is no growth, there is death.

At NewChurch we say to Change is a journey each of us need to take to learn and discover the character of Christ. It is not an overnight, snap your fingers type of change that we have come to demand in our fast food or immediate results culture. Personally I am very afraid of those who do say "I Got it Fully or Why do I need to Change, my character is like Christ." Those are usually the ones who this book, Lord Save Us From Your Followers is about. Let's call them Mr and Mrs. Me. They re-wrote the song "It's All About You" to "It's All About Me." They consume in church while others pick up their waste bi-products. If we are making positive changes in our character and life we are growing more into the character of Christ. Therefore, we become Fully Alive, we get up off our butts and produce for the Kingdom of God. Become more spiritual discplined. We serve the body.

Are you the 3 foot peach tree, just planted on healthy solid ground. Who is producing buds, but not far enough along in your journey of change (growth) to produce fruit. Or the 12 foot peach tree in my neighbors yard, who has stopped producing, growing, and is now on the curb (in many pieces) sitting and waiting for it's next stop in life. It is dead with no fruit.

"A Change is Gonna Come" Is it? Today, yesterday, tomorrow? I know I have to look at myself in the mirror, everyday and ask the same question. A famous pop song says it best.

Michael Jackson's - Man in the Mirror

I'm Gonna Make A Change, For Once In My Life

It's Gonna Feel Real Good, Gonna Make A Difference

Gonna Make It Right . . .

I'm Starting With The Man In The Mirror

I'm Asking Him To Change His Ways

And No Message Could Have Been Any Clearer

If You Wanna Make The World A Better Place

Take A Look At Yourself, And Then Make A Change

And yes we are doing this song this Sunday at NewChurch. So for all the professionally offended who think we should not do a Michael Jackson song in church. Is there a mirror in your room?

deeper graves

Chicken-and-a-Blanket

2008-04-02T09:12:00.009-05:00

Looking for a relaxing lunch with my wife, daughter, and a couple friends, we ventured out yesterday to a local hot spot. A place known for their fine cuisine. Even their presentation of food is perfection. The Chick-fil-A waffle frie (just a pure art form). You have to admit, no other frie can compete with its texture, it's taste, or its attitude. Combine this frie with the mouth watering chicken sandwich (with a perfectly placed pickle) and you experience a taste of heaven.

During our lunch utopia, things turned when my daughter asked me to go watch her in the playground. For those of you that know Chick-fil-A , I am talking about the cramped indoor playground where little kid screams curdle your blood and where 5 minutes becomes an eternity. I knew I had left my utopia when as I walked in, a newly mother was sitting right by the front door with that well known piece thin piece of fabric (blanket) draped over her chest. We all know what was under that blanket, a leech... Oops sorry, a little baby, experiencing his/her relaxing lunch. To all the males out there... to experience screaming little girls and a nursing mother all in a 10 by 10 space is uncomfortable. And that is an understatement. What do you say to the lady? Did you enjoy your lunch? Is it enjoying theirs? Nice blanket! The weather is nice. No, you just sit there, awkward, just hoping that blanket does not slip off. Watching the mom's face cringe, smile, cringe, smile, as the little one goes to town. Honestly, in some regard, I sat there in utter amazement of women once again. And of course silent...

Until that one infamous kid, who knows who it was, crapped their pants. Whoever designed this indoor playground, obviously did not take the confined space and diaper chili into consideration. Smell was overwhelming. And with that my lunch was over. Seriously, you cannot resume eating after that.

deeper graves

Hair, Paint, Body Odor, and Joy (Sounds Interesting...Doesn't it)

2008-04-01T14:16:00.007-05:00

Well I did it again! Picked up another brush yesterday. Not for my hair, although I need one as I have not cut my hair since November, but the brush the devil created - the paint brush.

You see, I have been having this problem lately of agreeing to things without fully thinking through the agony, the pain, the suffering, the sweat, etc. I would have to endure while completing the task I agreed to. It first started of with my hair...

My precious wife is pregnant with our second child, McKinley Rhaye. Becca, my wife, will be going through the 100 degree days of of Texas heat right about the time the timer will be going off on her internal oven. "Ding. Ding. Ding. Baby is Done." August 18th is the day. So to make things "even" in our blessed household, I decided I would make a deal with her. I would share in her agony and not cut my hair until the baby is born. I cannot stand long hair, it is itchy, hot, and well it just wastes my time. So, we are 4 months in, and I am one shaggy, sweaty, and suffering individual. That baby oven could not get done any quicker.

So 4 months later, my problem takes hold of me once again. It all started with that simple question. "Can WE paint the playroom?" WE? You see my wife knows I hate painting, so after she saw a look of "You have got to be kidding me" on my face, she followed up with "If I roll on the paint, you can just cut in around the ceiling and edges." "Sure, I will do that", I said...What did I just do? What did I just agree to? The next thing you know, I am in there spilling paint, painting myself (and not for creative church elements), and cursing. Oh, and I cannot forget, I was just being a big baby. Man, within that 3 hours of painting, I became Baptist at a Business Meeting.

With paint in my shag hair, stains on my shirt, and body odor of 3 day old grass clippings on a hot summer day, my problem hit me again. It all started from another question from my lovely wife, "Where was your joy?' God just spoke through my wife. My problem was not my inability to say no (although this is a discipline I should work on), my long yellow hair, or my paint high. My problem was my attitude, my joy.

As my first daughter, Aby, said "Daddy, my room is so beautiful" and as my glowing wife looked at my with unwavering love and smiled in this now bright and yellow playroom. I found and experienced my joy. I am blessed.

Now I got to go...I have a lot of apologizing to do to the wife.

deeper graves

Peace

2008-04-01T13:42:00.000-05:00

Her little chest moves so slightly. Mouth opened just wide enough for air to pass through. Eyes gently shut. Sandwiched between the covers and her mattress. No worries. Calm. Pure rest. She has no understanding of how her body functions, but trusts in her time of solitude and re-energizing she will awake to another exciting day of life. Toys, doggy's, milk, nawnie's, pa-pa's, grand dads, na-na's, mommy's and daddy's, and dress up. Oh how I love my little girl. The Peace of God shines through her. Oh how we as adults need to find that once again!

deeper graves

Superficiality!

2008-04-01T13:37:00.000-05:00

I just read over the last few weeks a quote from a man named Richard Foster. He said, "Superficiality is the curse of our age." As I thought about this quote, I realized He is exactly right. I counted how many times today I had that conversation. You know, that one where you say, "Hey how's it going." Your co-worker or friend replies back, "Okay" or "Good." That was the extent of my conversation with about 12 people today.

Superficiality has ruled my life for so long, and it is time for me to put and end to it's rule. I want deeper relationships with my co-workers, friends, and family. To go deeper is not a function of intellect, but the action of my response to community. How well do I know my community, my neighbor. Do people really know I care about them? Do they care about me?

It is time to end the curse of Superficiality.

deeper graves

Daddy, A Church!

2008-04-01T13:25:00.000-05:00

Driving down highway 29, a little voice from the backseat shouts "a church." I looked at my wife with confusion and turned around and asked the little one "What did you say?" she replied, "Daddy, a church" To our amazement she pointed out the very thing we have come to look over and not pay attention to. You see, church's have become icons, statues, a reflection on history. So much, that without even telling our 2 year old daughter, she was able to point out to me a church passing by. How did she know it was a church? Here is my humbled opinion why....

Some may say you have raised your daughter very well so far, "Wow, at such a young age she already recognizes churches." I say this....That same new familiararity she has come to recognize at age 2, is the same worn out and bored familiararity our culture has turned their eyes away from. The church has become such an icon in history, that we have forgotten to emerge ourselves in the culture of today. We are familiar with "that" church, but where does that fit in with today's relevance.

How many churches did you pass today that were overlooked due to familiararity, boredom or their lack of community? Now was it the building or what that church is not doing in the community. You decide. I say it is both.

Until next time my daughter points out a "castle", I mean church.

deeper graves